Kaori`s XXX Blog!!

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Anyways…. The Piglet complex….
I have never ever been horseback riding.

In the not-too-distant past, horses were a major means of transportation. Young girls dream of horses – I’m not sure why this is, but pretty well every girl has had some soft-focus vision of herself trotting daintily through a flower-filled meadow atop either a pony or a horse. Maybe there are flowers woven into the horse’s mane, or adorning the bridle and reins. Or maybe it’s some phallic power thing… ‘beast between the legs’…

I admit, I’m no stranger to these sorts of daydreams, and I rather think I’d like to try horseback riding, just once. I feel I might rather enjoy it, being up so high, able to travel much greater distances than I could on foot with significantly more ease.

Probably, though, if I were to get that close to a horse in real life, I’d be out of my mind with fear.

Because horses are rather large animals.

And standing next to a fully-grown horse, I would feel rather small. And rather unsafe.

I mean, what if that horse decides I look like a rather tasty snack?
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Okay guys, Winston suggested that I post some Canada Day Patriotic porn…. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to really find any!! I was hoping for a naked girl wrapped in a Canadian Flag… My quick search revealed nothing. The best I could do is a Canadian lesbian threesome featuring an amateur asian amongst others… It’s from Amateur Canada.. You might want to check AdultAccess.ca to access all the Canadian porn websites managed by these people!

Anyways… I enjoy the warmer weather summer brings – it’s nice to have a change of seasons, to have some time where the clothes you wore all winter can be tucked away out of sight and replaced with the things that you tucked away in the fall. It’s like getting a brand new wardrobe twice a year, without having to spend buckets of money and loads of time shopping.

The warmth of summer brings out my warm weather clothes, but it also makes me not want to cook. I mean, really not want to cook. When the sun heats my living space up, the last thing I want to do is turn on the oven, or stand in front of the stove. While part of me would love to just live off takeout for the duration of the summer, the part of me that thinks a bit more logically and responsibly tells me that this is not an appropriate meal plan.

I think the solution may be salads.

Big salads. With some focaccia bread on the side, with olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette for dipping. Last night I made up some quinoa and avocado salad – baby spinach, tomato, a wee bit of red onion, quinoa, and avocado, all tossed in a lemon and olive oil dressing. I had a biggish portion, with some bread on the side, and after the meal I felt satisfied – not wondering where my main course was. True, I have to run the stove to cook the quinoa for this, but I don’t have to stand there in the heat attending to it – unlike, say, a stir fry.

This could work. Granted, I can’t have the same salad everyday – I really like this salad, but having it everyday would probably foster a deep burning hatred for all that is wonderful about it – but the idea has merit. Toss a few actual cooked meals in here and there, when the glorious summer sun doesn’t suck out the few culinary inclinations I have, and I could have a very healthy caloric intake this summer.

Of course, I’ll still treat myself to takeout here and there. It’s all about balance, doncha know.

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Anyways, I found a convenient solution…

Some of you might get bored by this – so you can skip off to some free porn at girlsaresexy!! But for those of you who love brown sugar… (darn! I should have posted an ebony gallery…)
Yesterday, I made some tarte au sucre tarts. They bubbled over on me, so the resulting tarts are sort of ugly, but they’re tasty nonetheless. I make them pretty infrequently, and I know one time I managed to get half the batch to not bubble over. Darned if I can remember how that was achieved, though. For those out there who are saying Don’t fill the tart shells so full!, know that every time I make these I always end up with exactly 30 tarts, so it’s really not clear how I got that one half batch of non-overflowing tarts, with the other half not massively overflowing, using the same quantity of stuff.

Anyway, to make tarte au sucre, I need brown sugar. I keep brown sugar around, but since I use it so infrequently, it always goes rock hard. No matter how carefully I reseal the bag after removing some, no matter if I go through the effort of placing it in an airtight, vacuum-sealed container – I still end up with a solid block, because I use it so infrequently. Now, I know that an apple slice in the container overnight will loosen up your solidified brown sugar. Problem: I don’t ever buy apples. I like apples, but I never think to buy them just for eating – especially when berries are on sale, I’d much rather have a bowl of fresh berries with some yogurt and granola on top. So it seems like a whole lot of bother to go buy a single apple, just to have a slice to put in with my brown sugar.

I also know that there are clay discs a person can buy, soak in water, then toss in with the brown sugar to achieve the same goal. Again, because I use brown sugar so infrequently, I never think to duck into a cooking supplies store when I’m out and about and buy one of these discs.

So on Saturday, as I was pondering the notion of making tarte au sucre on Sunday, I remembered my brick of brown sugar, and pulled it out of the pantry. It was a somewhat pliable brick, but still far too firm to allow for easy measuring. I did a quick search on the web, and found the following pointer:

Place a slice of fresh bread in an airtight container with brown sugar overnight to soften.

Bread? Really? Well, I almost always have fresh bread on hand! So I pulled a slice out of the loaf, carefully separated a chunk of brown sugar off of my slightly flexible brick, and placed them both in a bowl, which I then covered in plastic wrap, and left it overnight.

Sunday morning? The bread felt a bit crispy, and the brown sugar was completely restored to its crumbly self. I understand how it worked, but I was still amazed at just how well it worked – there were absolutely no dry crunchy bits in the bowl! Better yet, there weren’t any wet gloppy bits either.

I’ll have to remember this one – for, like, ever.

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Anyways…. Braaaaaains….

A while back, several months ago now, I think, I happened to be browsing through the App Store on my iPhone and noticed a game called Zombie Farm, and it was available for free. I no longer remember if it was a limited time free download offer – though I suspect it was. In any event, since I am oddly partial to these farmy type games, I went ahead and downloaded it onto the phone.

And then proceeded to completely forget about it.

Last week, I happened to be waiting and browsing through my phone’s collection, and saw the little icon, and decided to give it a whirl.

It charmed me right from the moment gameplay began.

The premise: you are a surprisingly normal-looking farmer responsible for an empty plot of land, and you make use of your talents to grow zombies. It’s never made clear what sort of seeds one must plant to grow zombies, but there are several different types that can be sown. You start with just basic zombies, and unlock more types as your character gains sufficient experience. You also need to grow vegetables, as these crops will earn you money, which is then used to grow more zombies. Money can also be used to grow more vegetable crops – after all, everything costs money – and buying trees and other decorations to raise the life force level on your farm. If your life force runs too low, you run the risk of harvesting lifeless zombies, which I assume are useless – I haven’t actually had the misfortune of getting one yet. As you advance in the game and unlock stuff, you can also unlock and then purchase mutations – plant a zombie next to a specific type of vegetable, and you may harvest a mutated zombie that has absorbed some property from the adjacent vegetable. So far I’ve gotten zombies with turnip arms, and zombies with tomato heads.

The goal: I think you’re supposed to take over the world with your zombies. Once you’ve grown a minimum of eight (maximum of 16), you can send your zombies to invade a neighbouring farm. Additional farms are unlocked with experience – I can only invade poor Old McDonnell’s farm over and over again. The invasion itself is a sort of mini-game, as you have to direct your zombies to attack – they get distracted by rather non-zombie-like thoughts of sunshine, cupcakes, music, and rainbows. Successful invasions earn you money, and you may also be awarded a brain. Brains can be used to buy stuff for your farm. I’ve earned two brains so far, and have yet to spend either of them. Zombies also feed at invasions – you don’t really need to worry about them getting hungry, since they won’t die, since they’re zombies, but if they happen to be hungry when you go to invade, they’ll be a bit more enthusiastic about attacking.

My favourite part of the game? If you tap on a zombie, he says Brain in a clipped little chipmunky voice! Different types of zombies have different voices too. The girl zombie sounds younger and higher, the garden gnome zombie also has a higher pitched voice, though still male-sounding, the headless zombie says nothing. I grew some big bruiser-type zombies – I think they were called Bumpkin Zombies? These guys say Brain in a drawn out, ominous growl-whisper that I don’t like so much. I don’t think I’ll be growing anymore of those guys.

I never really thought I’d ever say, I need to harvest my zombies! And yet, I’ve been saying it a lot the past couple of weeks.

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Anyways… So much for that plan…

It occurred to me that I haven’t poked around for news on the release of the super exciting Microsoft Courier device that I’ve been looking forward to.

A quick Google search, however, reveals some now-old news that is not uplifting: the device has been shelved, with no plans for production at this time.

Well, bah, says I. So much for adding that new toy to my collection.

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Okay guys, here’s a gallery starring Hayley Cummings. The only reason I posted it, is because it had a semi-asian girl in it!!! I wanted to find a bit more of her, but the effort was for naught! I guess it’s still okay porn.. Basically drunk girls getting screwed at parties… Only the drunk girls are pornstars…. The site itself is good

Anyways… Image management…

Sometimes, I take myself on little tours of IMDb. It usually starts with me wanting to look something up about some show or movie I saw. I’ll plunk the name in the search bar, pull up the desired result, and consult the cast listing – because the usual question that sends me to IMDb is either Who played the character of ___? or What else have I seen that actor in? Once I locate the information I’m looking for, something else piques my interest – this is where I’ll click on the Mini Bio or Trivia link, or I’ll notice the name of another show or movie whose cast I’d like to peek at. It’s sort of a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon sort of game I play, except that I never end up on the page for Kevin Bacon, oddly enough.

I wonder, though – who decides which image is going to be the main one for a given actor? Is it the actor? His or her agent? A team of people at IMDb? Users voting from a fixed set? An image selected by an anonymous user, that can be changed by any other user at any given point in time?

The reason I ask is because some of the main images are pretty bad. Some appear to be rather out of date, others are wildly unflattering. For some individuals, there’s an image gallery with snippets that appear near the top of the page, yet there is no main image.

If the actors or their agents are responsible for selecting that main image, then I would tactfully suggest that some individuals should seek professional assistance in image management. Of course, in the case of the wildly unflattering shots, if they were willing to be photographed in that state, then probably they need all the help they can get anyway…

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Okay guys, time for another Ebony lesbian gallery… They both have sexy shaved black pussies. The one girl looks ‘gangsta’… She’s dressed in white, has giant lips, and a bit of a gap in her teeth. The last time I posted ‘ebony lesbians’, the XXX gallery went over well, and Pat wanted to find the ‘hottest black girl porn’. Unfortunately, the really hot ebony teen I was thinking of seemed to have removed herself from the Internet… I can’t find her website anymore!!
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Anyways, crumbly…..

Watching TV tonight, I hunkered down with some cookies. I had a couple of Oreos – maybe three? And I had a single Pirate cookie.

Pirate cookies crumble a fair bit when I bite into them. I’m not sure why.

This is problematic and bothersome, though, because those crumbs always end up down my shirt, settling into odd and uncomfortable places. Like between me and my undergarments. Or they find their way even further down, and make a cozy new home in my bellybutton.

Which is why I only had a single Pirate cookie.

Because after spending a good minute with my hand down my shirt fishing out the first cookie, it was all the more maddening to have to do it all again when I had bite number two and more crumbs showered down my top.

Sigh.

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Anyways….. A fine, deep fried line…

As someone who enjoys deep fried foods, I am not surprisingly someone who enjoys tempura.

I do not, however, subscribe to the belief that the act of deep frying makes anything and everything better. If the food item is breaded before frying, then care must be taken to ensure that the proportion of batter to food remains in the acceptable zone.

Tonight, I had some assorted tempura with my dinner. There were a couple of shrimp, a floret of broccoli, a slice of sweet potato, a slice of zucchini, and a ring of onion.

The zucchini and sweet potato were quite good.

The shrimp was tasty, but had been battered by a heavy hand – there was a bit too much breading for my taste.

The broccoli was edible, but the thing about broccoli florets is that the floret hides lots of spaces where, if permitted, batter can seep in and become trapped. I suspect it would be better to lightly roll the floret at the surface of the batter, rather than performing a dunk. In any event, mine was dunked, which means there was lots of breading, and in some of those breaded spaces, the batter wasn’t even fully cooked, so instead of crispy fried goodness, there was pastiness.

I didn’t eat the onion ring, because, well, it’s an onion ring.

I am glad that I didn’t leave myself the broccoli for last, though. That would have been a disappointing way to finish off the dish.

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Anyways… Clickity click click…

I have a certain weakness for time management games. Especially those that involve farming, oddly enough, since I seem to be utterly unable to keep live plants in real life. I know I’ve mentioned it before.. But I just finished killing a good chunk of time with it.

Maybe that’s why I like them so much – just a few clicks of the mouse, and I easily accomplish that which I cannot accomplish in real life. The game congratulates my clicking prowess with proclamations like Excellent!, Expert Score!, and Amazing! That sort of glowing praise can go a long way in boosting a person’s self esteem.

Even if it’s only about the speed of the clicky, with no tangible real world result.

Still, I’ll take the little bursts of happiness, thank you very much.

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Anyways… Fishy fishy fish fish…

When I went grocery shopping on Tuesday, a little voice in my head said, Hey! You should buy some fish for dinner this week. It’s good for you. And I thought in reply, Okay, I like fish. So I bought some frozen salmon and some fresh red snapper.

The snapper got eaten last night – I followed a recipe from one of the many cookbooks I’ve received as a gift. I cooked up some onion and red pepper in olive oil, then mixed them with some spinach so that the spinach wilted. Then, in the same pan, I pan fried the snapper. When it was done, I laid it on top of the veggie mix, then heated up some balsamic vinegar and honey to make a sauce for the fish. It was tasty.

But, the thing about cooking fish and enjoying fish is that fish smells. When you’re smelling the cooked fish, and about to eat it, it smells good. A few hours later, though, that fish smell takes on an ugly edge to it.

And it is a persistent sort of smell.

I took the garbage out last night, before going to bed, thinking I was ridding myself of the fish smell. Nope. It lingered. I had lit a candle while the fish was cooking, but it wasn’t powerful enough. Today, I opened windows and turned on the hood fan on the stove and relit that candle, and I thought after about half an hour things were good. Nope. Went outside for a bit, came back in and was greeted by a wall of fish smell.

When dinnertime rolled around, I thought perhaps I could finally rid myself of the fish smell by adding more fish smell, but taking better smell preventing measures. I cooked up that frozen salmon, with the candle lit and the stove hood fan going pretty well the whole time it was in the oven.

And? Well, I don’t smell fish anymore.

But I might be used to it. We’ll see how I feel about things in the morning.

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